This morning (perhaps it was the coffee and a good night's sleep) I started thinking about my worst year, which was 1999, and put it in perspective with 2014. I started looking at how far I've come. Another attribute of being human is we never quite remember the past as it actually was, or we make it more idealistic.
I am fortunate to be an expressive individual. I have always been one to keep journals and write about my life. It has helped me cope with grief, anger and rejection. The very act of getting it out on paper is a huge release. I keep excerpts from journals from the past to keep me closer to my reality back then. Some of them are really funny to read, and some very sad. But all show how much my thinking has evolved and how much I've grown over the years. When I've had a bad week or so, I find that I can flip my negative thoughts around by remembering or even physically reviewing pages from my past. At least for this year, I remember that things have been so much worse. It is not 1999, thank God.
Because I am human, a lady, left handed, a Gemini... or whatever, I am into making meaning out of most everything. I will take the rest of the last day of 2014 to reflect on how far I have come. It's not always natural for me to think positive, but making a conscious attempt at it makes a world of difference. Thinking of how much I didn't do, and all the failures I had in 2014 is a waste. It's not like it's not in my mind already. No one is as harsh of a critic on me than me. I will never be perfect, because I am human afterall!
This evening, when I enjoy New Year's Eve with my fiancé, we will probably briefly discuss our goals for 2015 a little before the ball drops. We are getting married in 2015, so we have that to look forward to. Last year at this time, we got the idea from Pinterest to start a "blessings" box. We have used this box throughout the year to put positive thoughts and blessings in it. Just slips of paper to promote positive thoughts.
I can't wait to open them all up and I can't wait for 2015 to be here to give me another reason to keep moving and striving to improve myself. Happy New year!
