I am free to be

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.-Ralph Waldo Emerson


I read somewhere on someone's blog, article or similar that Facebook kills creativity. I dropped my personal profile recently for this reason and more. I dropped it cold turkey because I am awesome at quitting things and horrible at moderation. 

I am an efficiency junky and am very attuned to new technology for making professional and personal life easier. This will come across as paranoid and maybe a little conspiracy-theory-esque, but I feel that the overuse of social networking has contributed to the clouding of my thought process. Every Facebook status update, leads to another key word likeness. A page that 50 other friends like, is suggested to me. If I mention frequent words, like relationships and love, in walks the engagement ring and wedding planning ads on a side bar. So many flags and banners. Advertisements online are smarter than I am and I don't like it. I spend a good four to five hours commuting on a bus each day to work. Until my recent Facebook liberation, my entire commute, both ways would consist of me reviewing news feeds of friends and pages I followed. Liking pages, making witty responses or status updates, mobile uploading photos or changing my profile photo for the 5th time that day. As we all have experienced, read, or scanned somewhere in a news feed, the way we receive information now is completely different. In college, when I had to write a research paper, sources had to be found in periodicals like trade publications, books or journals. We were encouraged  to think critically. Not everything was dumped all over us in the projectile avalanche way that it is in the 2010s. Take from it what you can because it's impossible to process it all; there' s just too much information coming in from too many angles.

The constant saturation of information from time-killing social networking sites like Facebook, leave me bored and irritated. Like a dying fluorescent  light with the penetrating glare and accompanying buzz that gives me a headache.

I cannot focus with all that buzzing! I have never been one to succumb to trends and what's popular now. Facebook activities make me feel like a puppy being lead by a short leash. I am not that person, nor do I ever want to be so devoid of original thoughts that I need to regurgitate what is trending now. Kill me before I become a thoughtless and mechanical poser!

A crutch is something we hold onto that prevents us from getting to where we want to be. Whether we admit that we create our own crutches or not is dependent on how honest we are with ourselves. Fear brings us to procrastination and distraction. Being the self-proclaimed wise 30 something that I am today, I have realized that removing crutches and distractions from my life have proven successful as far as personal well being and overall happiness are concerned. 

I used to smoke cigarettes. I really loved to smoke. But near the end of my smoking phase, I was smoking close to 2 packs a day. My addiction to cigarettes cost me a fortune in cash, but also made it very hard to exercise in the way that I liked. Of course there was  the whole thing where it would likely kill me too if I kept it up.

I love to see friends and old acquaintances doing well. Part of the draw to Facebook for me has been the feeling of community amongst people I know.  Facebook is never a true representation of who we are though. It isn't real. We are all putting on our best face there. Staying in touch via Facebook has become an excuse for me to not pick up the phone or connect directly with someone. I am horrible at staying in touch with people. Even before the Facebook craze, I never called friends and family and  I have never been one for sending sweet "I miss you" cards. It's time to put an effort into the people I care most about, and leave the ads and the bullshit static behind in as many ways possible. It's time to take back the control of what information I need and don't need. Although multi-tasking was once a trait that I valued in myself, I want to step it back and start paying more attention to things and people - live and in-person. There's no better way.

Being a natural all-or-nothing, out-of-the-box thinker, staying focused has always been hard for me.  I find the challenge of quitting Facebook is really an exercise in moderation and simplification for me. I am not willing to toss out technology and the internet all together but eliminating what has been the biggest time eater will be - and already has been- beneficial. 

I am willing to throw anything (or anyone) to the curb that compromises my primary values of staying true and hinders my own productivity.

I have plenty of time to work on being mindful during my commute each day. Starting by putting my smartphone away and taking in the beautiful New England views from the bus, reading actual books or simply closing my eyes.